In the past year, we have experienced several sad, large-scale events that have taken place and impacted our larger society: mass shootings, school shootings, death by law enforcement, and others. There are tragic events that happen every day. Because of this, it would make sense that we would all feel unhappy. However, being happy can still be a choice. It can be difficult to choose to be happy, to see happy events, and feel happy, especially when we are left feeling emotionally vulnerable as a result of sad events.
What does emotionally vulnerable mean? To be emotionally vulnerable can mean several different things. One meaning is being open to emotional attacks and/or having strong feelings out in the open. Another definition is to be susceptible to ineffective choices and/ or behaviors.
So, how do we avoid being emotionally vulnerable, or being susceptible? In Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.), they describe emotional vulnerabilities using the acronym HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. When we are feeling any of these things, the theory is that we are less resilient to managing our emotions. While this is a helpful list, it’s not comprehensive. There are many things that can make us more vulnerable or susceptible to feeling overwhelmed. An important part of coping with our emotions is Awareness. With awareness, we can identify how we are vulnerable and how we are feeling. With awareness of our emotions, we also become aware of emotional urges and impulse reactions.
So, how do we choose to be happy even in troubling times? Awareness of vulnerabilities is one of the first steps, starting with proper sleep (which includes effective sleep hygiene), eating balanced meals, getting good social support, and practicing emotional awareness. Another important step is being aware of good, positive moments in your life, including being able to make a list of them. Often it can be difficult to see happiness when we might be stuck in gloom, so by making a list, it allows us to recognize that the current unhappiness is only momentary, not permanent. Another helpful act is doing enjoyable things daily such as going for a walk, making a new meal, taking a hot shower, and many more. By focusing on being happy and doing things that create happiness, we can experience more feelings of happiness.
There are many events at every level that create emotions of sadness, and that’s okay. As we allow ourselves to feel our emotions, without judgment, this will reduce the intensity of troubling emotions and increase emotions of joy. Being happy doesn’t mean that we don’t care about what is happening around us, or that we are ignoring the pain in the world. Sometimes, we are sad, and that’s okay; but we can also shift our emotions in the moment and choose to be happy. Even in trying times, this is a choice we can make.
– Jacob Comstock is a 2005 graduate of Idaho State University with and undergraduate degree in social work. He graduated from Walla Walla University with a master’s degree in social work in 2008.
